the idea of a radiant smile
by DarkSigyn
Summary: Pacific Rim summary out of Gipsy Danger's perspective


She had been sleeping and waiting for such a long time; watching the others arrive and leave, listening to the low murmurs and lullabies Mako had sung to her while they both were waiting. Slumbering she had spent the days after energy had run through her electronic circuits for the first time after such a long time, after Mako had brought her back to life. This woman, her friend, had been what a mother for humans would be, but she never had forgotten them who she had been sworn to. Her death had bot whipped blank her memories and through them she had learned what pain was, loss and devastation. Gipsy would never forget Yancy or Raleigh and she had never stopped missing them.  
She was grateful for the endless moments of being half awake, half numb, when they cut off the energy since they did not need it for running tests, because when they did Gipsy's sensors sharpened, her memory banks, her boards and processor units ran high and brought it all back, everything that the brothers had left behind inside of what was her mind and more. Raleigh had lost himself deep inside of her circuits as it was pure instinct he was acting on, saving her, hauling her back to land before they both crashed and she went dead. it had been her last memory and her first, and the one she had existed on until they managed to update her systems. Since then she had waited, patiently, following the orders Mako had given her, trying to do the best, hoping – of one could say so – to see him again. Gipsy knew that Raleigh was gone just as she knew the opposite of Yancy. She could still feel both of them, melted into her being, even though one was ripped out of her, leaving a wound that even Mako could not heal with her admiration, her adoration and her care. Yet Gipsy loved her caretaker never less than she loved her pilots and Gipsy knew that if she would have the chance, she would protect this Japanese woman who had put her back together, made her even better, faster, and stronger than before. Hopefully it would be enough once she was allowed to return to duty.  
Gipsy learned what was hope, when she heard about that they wanted to bring Raleigh back, that he would be her pilot once more, but she was concerned, knowing how broken he had been. She remembered him as broking on the inside as she had been on the outside. And when she saw the others, the newer one like Crimson Typhoon, or the stronger one like Cherno Alpha, she was not so sure if she could fight herself once more. Especially when she learned about Striker Eureka. The Mark V, the fastest Jaeger ever built, one of a kind, more agile, more fluid than all the other Jaegers that ever came to be. And she was nothing more than a wreck being put back together.  
Then it all changed. Gipsy had almost forgotten what it was like. What it was like to be lit up for more than just a trial run of her circuits, or her core, or test movements that made her feel, old and weak and furthermost slow. She had forgotten how it felt like to really wake up, to feel energy flowing through her cockpit and a pilot entering, or two. She had forgotten how it felt like to be connected to two humans, to feel them mind meld with each other and her.  
Gipsy couldn't tell or compare if it was stronger this time of if she just was more sensitive. When Mako's fear struck her, she simply reacted. She didn't even realize that her behavior had been wrong until she suddenly went black. She learned what the feeling of failure was that moment when the other three left the hangar, when she saw Striker for the first time passing her by but she didn't understand why gravity seemed to pull on her even more when she saw the Mark V in all its glory, so shiny, so new, so strong, and so beautiful. That of course had been Raleigh's impressing of that Jaeger she could recall now after their first drift after so many years and that ache inside her was missing him. What else could it be? Maybe the engineers examining every inch of her after what had happened.

It was not that long ago but she remembered it like she still was in those moments. Gipsy had no real perception of time but she was sure that in the breach it was more slowly and everything was more surreal. The gaping hole where once her arm had been didn't hurt that much, or maybe it was just the fact that her systems slowly failed one after another. There was nothing more she could do right now than fall and keep the ones left the ones she still cared about most safe.  
If Gipsy would have been able to smile she would have done so right now as her memory banks recalled that moment of joy when Mako and Raleigh returned to her fully suited and set her on full power. She had felt brand new and invincible in just as they together ripped that Kaiju apart that was threatening Striker and the Hansens. It was them Raleigh, Mako and her saving the most powerful, the best Jaeger of them all. The pride her pilots felt was just her own.  
There had not been enough time to celebrate or for Striker to wake up. Duty was waiting. Another Kaiju to kill. No 7. Falling in the breach was much more slowly than it was racing through the atmosphere back to the ground after slashing Otachi in two parts. But she never had been afraid, maybe uneasy, because all she had cared about was just the same thing she cared about right now: keeping the two she was carrying safe at all costs. If that meant that she would become a pile of crap again she would have accepted that. And even now, as she was falling like a feather, she was not afraid to die. She was scared for Mako whose oxygen was low and she was incapable of helping her, the one that had given her a second chance of doing what she had been built to do. As her senses were fading she still was aware what Raleigh did and she felt nothing but gratitude, when Mako left. Even if it was without a goodbye. At least she would be safe and sound, she would not go along with them. Mako already had to watch her father go, along with Striker and Chuck Hansen.  
If Gipsy had been human she would have swallowed right there. She still could sense the heat and the ashes washing over her. And Mako's piercing pain still ached in Gipsy and it would until the very end. Even now when everything faded she still felt like being torn apart and it wasn't the Breach. The Breach made her lighter. It was something else. It was knowing that Striker was gone and nothing but dust, nothing to be put back together.  
Being carried alongside that Jaeger that had killed so many kaiju, only the two of them to close the breach and face three enemies had been something to remember and Gipsy had to make sure that it was not only Mako who would. Once more she had to keep Raleigh safe. Once more. Just once. She hated herself that he self-destruction wouldn't work, that she couldn't control it anymore. She was too weak. Too weak again and again Raleigh stayed with her. This time however not until the very end. Gipsy had already failed Yancy she would not fail him.  
She couldn't recall the last fight fully, but she remembered the pain, the agony, the fury. It were only bits and pieces now and the memory of heat. Heat and ash, and loss. Their sacrifice would not be in vain. The three of them were agreeing on that.  
Gipsy felt a pinch and pressure followed. She was moving as Raleigh gave her orders again, telling her to stand up straight, hovering in this strange space. Gipsy couldn't even recall that he had left his platform and for a moment she was scared. The heat inside her was rising and she knew that Raleigh had succeeded in activating her self-destruction. It would be over soon. This time forever. But they all would be safe. She had to hold on just a little longer and wait.  
She would hold back, Gipsy silently promised as her first and last pilot stepped back in place and told her farewell. He was not able to hear her farewell as she watched him leave. Just a little bit. The heat inside of her was eating her away and along with it all the memories that had flashed back. Soon she would be just like Striker, nothing but dust and she would take those sons of bitches with her.  
Gipsy couldn't locate Raleigh anymore, maybe he was out of reach, or because her sensors were burned. Hopefully the latter. Somehow she was sure. Somehow she felt it.  
It was just the blink of a human eye. The fracture of one moment, less than a heartbeat, when there was no pain but the idea of a radiant smile.


End file.
